What makes a person smile?

I was walking along Pitt St mall after my breakfast/study session in McDonalds this morning. Right in front of me was a mother of two. She was pushing her baby in the pram and her little toddler was trying to keep up with her. Her one step was equivalent to two of his little steps. After a minute or two, he got a bit frustrated and said in his little voice, “Momm, not too fast!”

At that very moment, I found myself smiling. Not a forced smile like what we do so often, sometimes unconsciously. But a genuine expression of what I just saw and heard. I caught myself smiling. How ridiculous must I have looked; especially in the midst of thousands of stressed, long-faced city workers who are just about to begin another day of labour.

I began thinking… and one thought led to another…

> “I really want my own kids”
> “I wonder what really it feels like to be a mother?”
> “But, will I be patient when they are throwing tantrums?”
> “To have my own kids… I need to find a husband/father material”
> I wonder… “Dear God, is this your will for my life?”
> Pastor’s sermon from Sunday, “Don’t pray ‘God, if it is your will’ – Find out what His will is for your life and pray for it specifically”
> “Okay… which means I need to start praying for a man”

Time has really flown by. It has been over 7 years since I last dated. I must have been asked hundreds of times by various people: “Do you have a boyfriend?” My response is always either, “No time for one” or “I am sure you will know when I find my other half”.

I once read a book which spoke about a woman’s fear of allowing herself to be in a relationship; as this is where she is most vulnerable to getting emotionally hurt...

So here I am: Just waiting... for my world to change