It hurts...

I don't know what it is that is causing me to lash out like I did. As much as I want to be self-controlled and not hurt innocent people in the process of working to build up my spiritual and emotional shortfall, I fail... miserably.

Nothing hurts more than to see those closest to me get hurt because I am unable to control my frustration. My hardened heart builds up an ego within myself that refuses to admit that I am in the wrong, offer my apology and a hug that can mean so much. What am I becoming? This is not the Plain Jane I use to know. I use to be carefree, use to be forgiving and I was... joyful.

A trustworthy friend told me that the people who gets hurt the most are our families because they love us - Unconditionally. What a wonderful thing. It doesn't matter who we are, where we are at in life or what we have done... the love is there.

I spent half of my life so far ignoring the costly price God paid to give me a life. And now, I just want to be sensitive to Him once again. This is the only way I can love others... to live a life worthy of His calling.